I’ve
never been very fond of hospitals. I’ve seen too many movies to realise that
they’re not nice places to be in. Sometimes, people go into hospitals and they
never come out again. Other times, they end up falling in love with some
gorgeous doctor and as anyone who’s ever watched Grey’s Anatomy will tell you,
doctors have the worst relationships.
Maybe that was why my mother, betraying every
single Chinese DNA in her body, refused to even entertain the idea that any of
her children would become doctors.
“People only come to see you when there’s something
wrong with them. Choy!” she exclaimed
when my sister Michelle announced she wanted to be a cardio-thoracic surgeon.
“Better to be a chartered accountant!” she added.
Which is how my sister ended up in a job where she
spends her whole day looking at numbers. She loathes it. “I hate rich people,”
she said the other day. “I hate rich people and their stupid rich problems
about where they’re going to hide their stupid money. I wish I was rich and had
those kinds of problems. I would have had problems like that if I’d been a
cardio-thoracic surgeon!”
Meanwhile, Amanda is a few steps closer to
realising her dream about becoming a doctor’s wife.
Sharyn’s husband had to go into hospital for
surgery on his hips and she insisted that we accompany her for moral support.
“We’re not married to your husband, Sharyn,” Saffy
said reasonably. “He’s your problem.”
“Ay! Excuse me! Who hold your hand when your
boyfren Blad-ley got motorbike accident? Who come with you to the doctor when
you get chicken-pock? And some more, who come with you to lasik doctor and take
you home? Now, I ask you come with me to hospital also cannot, ah? Wah lau eh!”
She then broke into a string of excited Hokkien.
Saffy later said that being scolded by Sharyn was
like being whipped to death by a piece of wet tissue. But she added that if she was going, then so were we.
“I hate hospitals! You pick up so many germs there!”
Amanda complained even as she shimmied her Lanvin-clad body into the cab. “I’m
going to have to dry-clean all my clothes when we come back!”
“She’s not even my friend!” I grumbled.
Saffy’s impressive bosom inflated as it preceded
her into the cab. “Listen, I’m just asking you to spend a few hours keeping me
company and after everything that I’ve done for you two, it’s the least you could do!”
Amanda’s icy tones penetrated the chill of the cab. “And exactly what have you ever done for me?”
Amanda’s icy tones penetrated the chill of the cab. “And exactly what have you ever done for me?”
We bickered all the way to Mount Elizabeth and into
the lift where there was a brief pause. Amanda frowned.
“Isn’t Sharyn’s husband a contractor? How is he
affording to have his operation at Mount E?” she asked, her brain already
ticking up the cost.
“Oh my God,” Saffy exclaimed, “contractors make so
much money! He just bought himself a new Mercedes-Benz!”
“Meanwhile, his wife still shops at G-2000,” Amanda
sniffed.
The lift stopped at the third floor and at this
point, things got a bit hazy for Amanda. Both Saffy and I remember a doctor
walking in, and not much else. We can’t multi-task and we were still too busy
concentrating on bickering. We think
he was a doctor because he was wearing a white lab coat, though Saffy rightly
points out that he could just as easily have been a lab technician.
Amanda, on the other hand, swears she lost several
seconds of her life. “I took one look in his eyes and after that, I can’t
remember a thing!” she told Sharyn. “He was gorgeous! No wait, I do remember
his name. The nurse next to him was calling him Dr Mehta!”
“There was a nurse?” Saffy asked me. I told her I’d
barely registered his presence in the lift, let alone anyone else who might
have been with him.
“He smiled at me,” Amanda reported to the world at
large. “I think I’ve fallen in love!”
Sharyn stared at Amanda, torn between immersing
herself into the drama unfolding before her and tending to her pitiable husband
currently hooked up to a drip after his operation. She ended up feebly patting
her husband’s hand and said to Amanda, “How can?”
We’re still at Mount E. Saffy is helping Sharyn
decode the post-op instruction sheet and medication list, while Amanda has gone
off to stalk Dr Mehta. The last thing she said before she stepped out of the
room was, “Amanda Mehta. It has such a ring to it!”
You could see the future shining in her eyes.
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