My friend Maya was fretting the other day at lunch.
“I don’t know what to do with Daniel!” she said, picking at her kale salad.
“What’s he done now?”
“His school has mid-term holidays in the US, so he’s flying home, but I don’t know what to dowith him.”
Saffy looked up from her roast cod. “You make it sound like you’re assembling an Ikea cupboard!”
Maya sighed. “He wanted to go skiing in Niseko, but the season is over, so, I was thinking I could take him to Taiwan.”
Saffy frowned. “Why don’t you just leave him to it at home? Why do you need to do anything?”
Maya looked astonished. “We have to dosomething! It’s his holiday!”
Saffy put her fork down as her bosom inflated, once again confirming my suspicion that she can’t breathe and eat at the same time. “You know, when I was away at school in Australia, I never came home the entire five years? My parents said they weren’t spending a fortune on my school fees andairfare three times a year! Back me up here, Jason!”
I shrugged. “I’m with her on this one, Maya.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “What, so you guys never saw your parents the entire time you were away?”
“Oh, no, I saw them plenty. It was a great excuse for them to hop on a plane for a holiday. But they just never saw the point of having me come home at such great expense. Although,” I added, as a memory resurfaced, “my sister once wheedled her way back to Singapore in her second year, but my parents decided they wouldn’t be around and went off on a month-long Mediterranean cruise leaving her all alone at home.”
Saffy leaned in. “Don’t you think this would be a great opportunity for Daniel to travel around America with his friends?”
“He’s only 17!”
Saffy looked triumphant. “My point exactly! He’s 17. Raging hormones. Hot temptations. Pool parties and wild drunken orgies! He should be living it up!” She noticed our look. “What? I’ve watched ‘Riverdale’! That’s how kids roll today!”
Later back at home, Saffy said it just amazed her how spoilt some kids are. “Can you imagine being able to come home for mid-term holidays?” she said, lying fully flat on the sofa and staring at the cobweb on our ceiling.
“And then being taken skiing!” I added. “And he’s only 17!”
“At 17, I was lucky if I got a phone call from my parents on my birthday,” Saffy sighed. “They only ever called me if something bad happened. Of course, now, they can’t do a number two without calling to tell me all about it.”
When I was growing up, we didn’t get on a plane with our parents till we were started high school. My mother was of the view that her children should not be allowed to see the inside of an airport till she was absolutely certain they could sit still in economy class without fidgeting, complaining or fighting for at least five continuous hours.
“Wait. Your parents flew economy class?” Amanda asked.
I barked out a laugh. “Yeah right! Are you mad? Of course not! But when we were finally allowed to fly, we flew economy while they turned left into Satay Class.”
“Ay, I ask you,” Sharyn piped up. “Business class really got satay, ah?”
“Only on SQ, Shazz,” Saffy said. “Or so I’m told, since I’ve never flown Satay Class.”
“I oh-so!”
Amanda waved her hands. “Wait, wait! So you’re saying that your family flew in separatecabins?”
“Still do,” I told her. “My parents think it’s disgraceful the way my brother, sister and I get on a plane. My mother once said we dress like we’re on our way home from laying sewage pipes in Paya Lebar. The last time I scrapped together enough points to fly Satay Class with them, they upgraded themselves to Wedgewood Class just so they wouldn’t be seen with me.”
Sharyn paused. “Hah? Wedgewood? Sim-mee dai chee?”
“The Suites,” I said. “They serve you food on Wedgewood fine bone china.”
You could tell Sharyn was impressed because her eyes were abnormally enlarged behind her Coke bottle-thick spectacles. “Wah! Issit?”
“Your parents are real bad-ass,” Amanda said with approval.
Meanwhile, Maya texted to say that she’s upgrading Daniel to Satay Class for his flight home. “Poor thing, it’s nearly 20 hours. How to fly economy class?” she wrote.
“I would have hated Daniel if we’d been at school together,” Saffy decided.
Ever competitive, Amanda said she’d have hated Maya.
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