Regular readers
will know that in the little flat that I share with Saffy and Amanda, we’re
prone to short lived bursts of obsessions. You name it, we’ve had it and done
it. Gossip Girl, Glee, Gangnam, G.I. Joe. Tick. Sudoku, Siri, Celebrity
Anything. Tick. Over the years, we’ve gotten on – and gotten off – the crazy
runaway trains of zumba, Farmville, Instagram, Wii, J-Pop, Canto-Pop, K-Pop,
Twitter, Facebook, donuts, cupcakes, boybands, girlbands, Steven Tyler,
vampires and Lord of the Rings.
Our flat is littered with the
detritus of our devotion. Under my bed is the season 1 DVD of ‘The Osbournes’.
The season 2 DVD lies next to it unopened. In one of Amanda’s drawers, you
might find a scrapbook of Taylor Lautner pictures in various stages of undress.
She’ll deny she has it because her current obsession is with Ryan Gosling,
though you can tell she’s about to jump ship for Damian Lewis.
And if you lifted the framed picture of MDNA
hanging in Saffy’s bedroom, you’d find a scrappy poster of Madonna circa ‘Like
a Virgin’. She was too lazy to even take it down before she put the new one up.
If you ever wanted to do a study on
the short attention span of mindless consumerism, just come knocking at our
door. We’ll buy whatever you’re selling. Saffy says that if it was legal in
Singapore for people like the Scientologists, Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons
to go knocking on people’s doors, we’d currently be rubbing shoulders with Tom
Cruise and John Travolta.
But then, as Amanda so astutely
points out, two weeks later, we’d get bored and want to be Catholics and BFF
with the Pope.
Our current obsession is facial
acupuncture.
It all began during one of Amanda’s
Pilates classes (which she’s about to drop because there’s something called TRX
training that she’s just dying to try) and she suddenly noticed that her
teacher had amazing skin.
Pamela said that she goes for
regular sessions of facial acupuncture with Dr Wang in a TCM clinic along
Bendemeer Road. “She’s amazing!” Pamela said as she allowed Amanda deep into
her personal space to inspect her epidermis.
“You’re practically glowing!” Amanda said, eyes wide.
“I know! She just sticks a few
needles in and the skin just feels so much tighter.”
Saffy later said that it sounded too
good to be true.
“You said that about Milla Jovovich!”
Amanda said.
Saffy’s breasts inflated. “I’m
sorry, but can you honestly tell me that ‘Resident Evil’ isn’t the best movie
ever?”
Wisely, Amanda ignored the outburst
and continued to inspect her face in her handheld mirror. “I’m starting to get
lines around my eyes. Pamela says that can all be fixed. It sounds like it’s
better than Botox!”
“I want to get rid of these vertical
lines between my eyebrows,” said Saffy having, for the moment, quickly
forgotten about her devotion to Milla’s savage destruction of the Living Dead.
“They’re called elevenses!” Amanda
said with the superior air of someone who’s an amateur dermatologist and rabid
follower of ‘Extreme Makeover’. “Pamela says they’re a little more difficult to
undo, but Dr Wang can do it.”
“They make me look so grumpy and
angry all the time,” Saffy went on, looking at her reflection in her handheld mirror.
“But you are grumpy and angry all the time!” Amanda pointed out.
You could tell that Saffy was
extremely put out by this comment, but realized that she was severely limited
in her range of responses. So she saved it all up and vented when she met up
with Sharyn later.
“Aiyoh!” Sharyn’s thick glasses
fogged up. “Why you people so seow,
one? Got nice face, not enough. Must now go to acupuncture and get needles poke
you in the face! You all very free, lah! You elsewhere not poke enough, is it?”
she asked owlishly.
“You’re just disgusting, Sharyn!”
Saffy said, shifting in her seat. “When I’m looking fresh and gorgeous and my
skin is glowing, you’ll be eating your words.”
“Ay, you don’t be so cheem, can?”
But by then, it was too late. Like
SARS, Saffy’s enthusiasm was so infectious that Sharyn decided that she too was
coming along to see Dr Wang. Which is how the four of us have got appointments
in two weeks. Amanda says the fact that there is such a long waiting list is a
good sign. “She must be good. If she’d said we could see her today, I’d be
suspicious.”
“I hope it’s not going to hurt!”
Saffy said.
“It’ll just be a little prick!”
Saffy grunted, her elevenses
deepening. “Like so many of my dates.”
1 comment:
Wow Jason, I need the address! Can you share? :)
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