Monday, October 09, 2006

Dirty Talking

A few days ago, my flatmate Saffy was in her office pantry complaining to our friend Sharyn about the taxi-driver who’d taken her to work that morning. I set out, below, the gist of the conversation as reported to me by Sharyn, who’d immediately picked up the phone to call me.

Saffy: What is wrong with the taxi drivers in this country?
Sharyn: What? Why?
Saffy: There should be a law against people like them!
Sharyn: What? What?
Saffy: The taxi driver this morning? Out of the blue, he asked me to guess his age.
Sharyn: Ah! And then?
Saffy: So I said, forty.
Sharyn: Ah! Then?
Saffy: And he says, no, I’m fifty-two.
Sharyn: Wah! So old, ah!
Saffy: No! That’s not it!
Sharyn: Oh. Sorry, ah! And then?
Saffy: So he says, guess how I stay so young? And I said, how?
Sharyn: Ah!
Saffy: He said he ate a lot of ice-cream!
Sharyn: Really, ah! Can stay young like that, meh?
Saffy: I haven’t finished my story yet!
Sharyn: Wah, so long one, your story. I got work to do, you know.
Saffy: So then I said, oh really? Then he turns around and stares at me and actually goes through the motion of licking an ice-cream and then he winks at me! Oh. My. God! The sicko.
Sharyn: If don’t lick, how to eat ice-cream otherwise?

As Saffy later complained to me at home, the Vatican should investigate the inexplicable miracle that Sharyn had ever managed to find her way out of her mother’s birth canal.

6 comments:

Rich4747 said...

At least it wasn't Wong Teck Meng... :)
Are all taxi drivers so quirky? My experiences with them always include, 'Where to?' 'Turn here?' and '$10.50'.

brigitte said...

wow i didnt know you had a blog!
and yeha im a fan of your column and now im glued to your book (:

Style Scout said...

Great site and I love this blog, viewed from London, Best regards, Robert

Jason Hahn said...

Style Scout Robert, just a question - do you get the Singaporean nuances? Am interested to know as I didn't expect the material to travel.
See you on Sarto!
JH

Ben said...

Oh wow, you have a blog! I'm a fan of your column and your books! Hope you don't mind me linking you on my blog. (^_^)

Anonymous said...

hmmm....you may not believe me but this VERY thing happened to me a few weeks back when on my way to work...maybe this fellow is getting around a bit......but actually, the taxy driver said things even MORE risque than just licking ice cream...he kept saying, repeatedly, "you must 'f..k' alot to stay young"....REALLY, i thought to report him......and for some reason i DO seem to get all of the taxi drivers in town that love to tell a story......all i want in a cab is efficient safe driving and some down-time between running life's errands.